on Christmas morning, just as dawn begins to break, you awaken in your one bedroom aparment to the sound of a quiet wimpering. At first you think it may be your puppy whining for attentiom, but then your sleepy brain realizes... you don't even have any pets!

quietly, you put on your robe and creep down the hall, holding a baseball bat in case of danger

peering around the corner, you see your Christmas tree, twinkling soft multi-colored lights in the living room. Edging out a little further, you see your couch, and laying on it is quite possibly the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, crying softly to herself